Fantasy Football News

Scoop Chicos 2006 Fantasy Football Power Rankings

07/07/2006

Scoop Chicos - Fantasy Football Commissioner Senior Writer
Scoop Chicos
Senior Staff Writer
Fantasy Football Commissioner

Scoop Chicos NFL Fantasy Football Power Rankings

Ranked by number of Floor Flushers

1) Cincinatti Bengals – Rudi Johnson, Chad Johnson, Carson Palmer- What year is it? Is Cris Collinsworth running never-ending post patterns out there in the football universe? Is the television signal of Icky Woods doing the Icky Shuffle baffling some aliens passing through our universe? The Bengals have the number one fantasy football offense in the league? Sue me.

2) Indianapolis Colts- Peyton Manning, Marvin Harrison, Reggie Wayne- If it wasn’t for the loss of Edgerin James these whippersnappers would be number one. There’s no doubt Peyton Manning is going to be delivering papers all over the neighborhood all season long but the question is who will be carrying the load on the ground. Rookie Joseph Addai is slated to be the starter and the Colts are meeting a blind date at the dance and they don’t know if it’s a bug eyed Betty or Rita Hayworth.

3) Kansas City Chiefs-Larry Johnson, Tony Gonzalez, Trent Green-If you own Larry Johnson, well, stand up, take off your hat and greet the pretty lady as she walks into the room. Fantasy colossus. Larry Johnson himself makes the Chiefs third on the board.

4) Arizona Cardinals- Edgerinn James, Larry Fitzgerald, Anquan Boldin - Sometimes you're looking out the window and you can hear the rain but you can't see it. It’s pouring fantasy stars in the desert.

5) Seattle Seahawks- Shaun Alexander, Matt Hasselback, Darrell Jackson-
Alexander alone vaults these juggernauts into the top 5. Hassleback and Jackson? Meh.

6) New York Giants-Tiki Barber, Jeremy Shockey, Eli Manning, Plaxico Burress- This is a solid core of floor flushers. Barber is fantasy football gold. Burress drives fantasy football managers to drink and this is why I draft him every year. Shockey is a talented seamstress and Manning is ready to take his fantasy life to another level.

7) San Diego Chargers- LaDainian Tomlinson, Antonio Gates- I have no idea what that dewdropper Philip Rivers is going to do but Tomlinson and Gates are about as solid fantasy citizens at their positions as possible. Tomlinson is the best 21 dealer in the NFL. Gates can dunk.

8) Denver Broncos- Miscellaneous Running Back-
Tatum Bell? Ron Dayne? Who knows what’s going on on Planet Shanahan. I just wish Shanahan could get me some more of those booze pills delivered from his home planet.

9) Dallas Cowboys- Terrell Owens, Julius Jones, Drew Bledsoe- No idea when Terrell Owens is going to cast the first kitten in Dallas. That drama queen in Big D will be like an accident you can’t keep your eyes off of. Julius Jones’ game is like looking at a flour lover. She looks good from a distance but all of that make-up makes you spill your drink when up close. This is why I avoid him at cocktail parties and fantasy football drafts.

10) L.A. Rams- Stephen Jackson, Torry Holt, Marc Bulger- Gone is that goofball management style of Mike Marz but the offense should remain the same. Jackson threatens to finally breakout as he’ll certainly get more carries with Marz gone. L.A. hosted the 84’ Olympics.

11) Carolina Panthers- Steve Smith, Jake Delhomme-This combo is a dangerous cocktail. Smith was the premier fantasy receiver last year and Delhomme is underappreciated. I left DeShaun Foster off the list because he’s probably hurt and doesn’t even know it.

12) Washington Redskins- Clinton Portis, Santana Moss, Chad Cooley-Portis and Moss could be fantasy whippersnappers once again. Apparently they’re going to open up the offense like never before and this could pay off huge for fantasy owners. Cooley’s touchdown total is impressive. Washington D.C. is our nation’s capital.

13) New England Patriots – Tom Brady, Corey Dillon/Lawerence Maroney- Brady is the model of consistency while Dillon may be stumbling more than gliding. Watch out for that humdinger Maroney. He’s going to be the young stud running back that Bill Bellichek has never had and might just uplift his spirits enough to make him change out of that sweat suit.

14) New Orleans Saints- Reggie Bush/Deuce McAllister – McAllister is as unknown as Reggie Bush. Bush restarted my heart more than once last college football season and I expect to be calling him whippersnapper sometime in early December.

15) Pittsburgh Steelers – Willie Parker, Hines Ward-
Willie Parker will be carrying the load and his numbers will be huge. Ward always seems to tip well.

16) Los Angeles Raiders- LaMont Jordan, Randy Moss-
Jordan was a fantasy football behemoth last year, meahwhile, Moss was a hayburner. Moss could be good value considering he’ll be in a free fall on draft day. L.A. has two pro football teams.

17) Atlanta Falcons- Michael Vick, Warrick Dunn-
Meh. Uh. Have you seen the waitress?

18) Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Cadillac Williams, Joey Galloway- Williams looked lost in the park at times last year after that monster beginning. Galloway needs Chris Simms to figure out how to throw it further.

19) Miami Dolphins – Ronnie Brown, Chris Chambers, Daunte Culpepper- Brown will be carrying the load exclusively this year and is top 12 worthy. Chambers success hinges on the recovery of one time fantasy colossus turned dewdropper, Daunte Culpepper.

20) Philadelphia Eagles – Donovan McNabb, Brian Wesbrook- I don’t even know what Donovan McNabb is worth anymore and Westbrook is one of the most over-rated backs in the game. Freedom?

21) Green Bay Packers – Ahman Green, Brett Favre-
Yargh. Um. Paging the glory years. Anyone? Hello? Mike? Rita?

22) Minnesota Vikings – Chester Taylor-
Yargh. Um. Paging the fantasy glory years. Anyone? Hello? Denny? Rita?

23) Detroit Lions – Kevin Jones, Roy Williams-
And here we find the goofball Mike Marz. Which is good news for Williams and potentially bad news for Jones being that Marz passes the ball 96% of the time.

24) Jacksonville Jaguars –
Fred Taylor- Meh.

25) Chicago Bears – Thomas Jones/Cedric Benson-
Jones was a monster last year while Benson watched and learned. Could be a role reversal this year.

26) Buffalo Bills – Willis McGahee-This pre-Madonna ran his mouth before the season and ended up looking the fool. Could be a steal in your fantasy football leagues draft now that he’s been humbled.

27) Baltimore Ravens – Jamal Lewis-
Lewis also could be a steal now that he’s been humbled.

28) Houston Oilers – Dominick Davis-
Davis has always been a solid contributor to the neighborhood committee and has been humbled.

29) Tennessee Titans- Earl Campbell-
Tennesee is just not up for this fantasy life.

30) Cleveland Browns- Reuben Droughns-
Can you give me a ride to the grocer?

31) New York Jets – Freeman McNeil-
If your saddled with Jets, the best thing to do would be to rent some underdog movies like Seabiscuit, Rudy, Miracle and The Shining. These should put you in the right mindset to win without the best of the best.

32) San Francisco 49ers – Jerry Rice, Joe Montana, Roger Craig –
If your saddled with 49ers, well, it is called fantasy football so just imagine you won.

Scoop Chicos is the senior staff writer for fflcommish.com, the most flexible fantasy football league manager available. His original fantasy football articles are updated several times a week. You can ask him fantasy football related questions in his fantasy football forum. Subscribe to his articles from his fantasy football rss feed.