Fantasy Football News

Mockery - Rounds 9 and 10

09/03/2006

Scoop Chicos
Senior Staff Writer
Fantasy Football Commissioner

Mockery Rounds 9-10

Attention fantasy football league commissioners, fantasy football league managers and fantasy football league players with a penchant for drama; don’t go casting kittens in the juice joint I frequent unless you want a icy stare to punch you where you stand. I’ve seen it happen and find the waitress because this is the official online fantasy football management mock draft for the contraption machine and lame fantasy football league draft parties where you’re the only one bent.

Round 9

81. Travis Henry, RB, Tennessee Titans- Jeff Fisher is doing his best imitation of Mike Shanahan in Tennessee. He won’t tip his hand on the starter. Travis Henry is the current favorite. Henry had one floor flushing year in Buffalo and has spent the past two on Neptune.

82. Lee Evans, WR, Buffalo Bills-Evans is considered a sleeper by some, a slipper by others. J.P. Losman was one of the most hideous quarterbacks to crawl out of the muck last year. If Losman can figure out how to throw than Evans could be huge.

83. Ben Roethlisberger, QB, Pittsburgh Steelers- Large Ben took a street on the chin this off-season but has shown that he’s healthy and ready to go. His name is bigger than his stats but he’s still a solid pick in the ninth round.

84. Jason Witten, TE, Dallas Cowboys- Witten was getting rave reviews heading into fantasy drafts last summer. His response was respectable but not glorious. Expect more of the same. 700’s & 5.

85. Keenan McCardell, WR, San Diego Chargers- McCardell remains the only option at wide receiver in San Diego. While Gates will be getting most of the balls, McCardell should have his hand in the grab bag as well.

86. DeShaun Foster, RB, Carolina Panthers- Foster is a firecracker ready to go off in your hand. He certainly will be drafted higher than this but I don’t trust to stay health at all.

87. DeAngelo Williams, RB, Carolina Panthers- When Foster goes down Williams has a chance to go to Saturn. MAZUMA!

88. Ahman Green, RB, Green Bay Packers- Here’s another guy who can’t drink a cup of coffee without his eyeballs popping out of his head. His worth a shot this low but some dewdropper is going to cast a kitten and take him earlier.

89. Donte Stallworth, WR, Philadelphia Eagles- Every year this lollygagger imitates a lollapalooza and turns into a palooka. Why the hell would a change of scenery do him any good? Besides Terrell Owens, the Eagles consistently have wide receivers who break your heart.

90. Laveraneues Coles, WR, New York Jets- Coles rode into last season with high expectations and ended last season as a ho-humdinger. Could bounce back if Chippy Pennington regains his form.

Round 10

91. Vernand Morency, RB, Houston Texans- With Davis out indefinetaly the Houston running back job is down to two contenders, Morency and Wali Lundy. My mazuma is on Morency to be a bolt from the blue.

92. Steve McNair, QB, Baltimore Ravens- Former fantasy colossus McNair finds himself attached to that madman Brian Billick in Baltimore.   Billicks eyes are glazed and his hair is already messy staring down McNair on the field. McNair should calm him a bit but Billick should be nervous about his health.

93. Brett Favre, QB, Green Bay Packers- Favre keeps spiraling down fantasy draft boards year after year. His offensive line is going to get him killed. I’ll take two whiskey sours in one glass.

94. Randy McMichael, TE, Miami Dolphins- With Culpepper throwing him the ball McMichael could turn in a hell of a season.   MAZUMA! BERRIES! KALE! JACK!

95. Keyshawn Johnson, WR, Carolina Panthers- Johnson is in the perfect position to succeed in Carolina. With whippersnapper Steve Smith creating motes around cornerbacks, Johnson is going to get a little of the residual tally-whacks.

96. Matt Jones, WR, Jacksonville Jaguars- This year is the true test for this quarterback turned receiver. He’s got some ridiculous skills now if he can act like a wide receiver in public he could be huge.

97. Terry Glenn, WR, Dallas Cowboys- Glenn was a floor flusher last year but the presence of Owens seemingly lowers his value. Jumpin’ Johnny Jupiter! This is good value.

98. Algee Crumpler, TE, Atlanta Falcons- Crumpler is Michael Vick’s insurance policy most of the time. Vick’s inability to throw down field and Crumpler’s towering presence make these two a combo with no adjective.

99. Mark Brunell, QB, Washington Redskins- Washington’s offense was huge last year and Brunnell had the numbers to go with it. Some people may look at him like a bug eyed Betty but if it’s the 10th round and your searching for a quarterback, go Brunell.

100. Bears D/ST- Push off into the night with this lights out defense.   Pour your prayers into a tumbler and fill with ice. Send your enemies into their neighborhood and be sure to say goodbye for good. Holy Hannah Rose!

Scoop Chicos is the senior staff writer for fflcommish.com, the most flexible fantasy football league manager available. His original fantasy football articles are updated several times a week. You can ask him fantasy football related questions in his fantasy football forum. Subscribe to his articles from his fantasy football rss feed.